Anger is a natural response to stress, however, it stops being cathartic when it spirals out of control. It's crucial as parents, teachers, and counselors to know how to teach kids to manage their anger.
Recognize the Trigger
Note down when and what caused the outbursts. You will see a pattern. Recognize the trigger and avoid or eliminate it.
Identify objects or ways to calm your child. A long hug, soft music, stuffed animal, pets, walk outside, etc. help kids relax. Find out what calms your kid.
It's important for us to remain calm during an anger outburst. Children get even more overwhelmed if we respond angrily.
Use diversions to distract the child when triggered. Step outside, show a video, make some funny faces, etc.
"The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways." - Russell Barkley
Acknowledge, Don't Disregard
Disregarding the reason for the outburst will upset kids even more. It's important to assure children that we understand them.
"Time spent playing with children is never wasted."- Dawn Lantero
Talking about what upset them and how to deal with it better the next time will prove cathartic. Encourage kids to communicate.
Save Advice for Later
During a tantrum or anger outburst simply remain calm and try to reassure the child. Later, when you're child is calm talk it through.
It's important to emphasize how acts of violence and destruction of property isn't right. In our anger we cannot throw things or hurt those around us.
Award Good Behavior
Healthy negotiations help control future outbursts. Talk about a reward-based point system in advance. Add up points and redeem them for a reward.
Set boundaries and lay down the consequences of bad behavior. Hurting another in anger or damaging property will be followed by loss of privileges.
Avoid Excessive Technology
Spending too much time on devices can elevate irritibility levels in kids. Limit technology time and ensure healthy ways to spend the day.
Food and Sleep Pattern
Kids get cranky when they haven't eaten or slept well. Ensure they've eaten nutritious food that prevents spikes in blood sugar. Make sure your child has adequate sleep and rest.
Comparing one sibling's behavior to the other isn't constructive, instead, it builds up even more anger in the child.
Don't isolate kids, instead, let them know you're on their side, ready to battle this out along with them.
Your idea of quality time may not be the same as your child's. Often emotional instability is an involuntary cry for attention stemming from insecurity. Spend one-on-one time.
Every Child is Different
Remember every child is unique and different things work for different individuals. Only trial and error will tell you what works for you and your child. Be patient and take one day at a time.
If you find things getting worse despite all your effort, seek professional help. Counselors will help deal with your situation very specifically.
"There's no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one." - Sue Atkins