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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Maya Pillai
Do you think its going to make you feel good comparing your weaknesses with the strengths of others around you? However, the most funny thing is, this is what most of us do many a times. When you compare yourself with others, you are actually creating a vicious cycle that plummets your self-confidence and happiness.
“Comparison is the death of peace and well-being.” Anonymous

Dangers of Comparing Yourself with Others

Comparison is between you and someone else. It is a comparison about what the other person is capable of doing and his success.  Sometimes it can be motivating and other times it can be destructive too.

Comparison Drives your Behavior

Happiness is an inside job. Similarly, most of the significant things in life are internal and not external.

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According to Warren Buffett, behavior of the people depends on whether they have an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard.

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"Would you rather be the world’s greatest lover, but have everyone think you’re the world’s worst lover? Or would you rather be the world’s worst lover but have everyone think you’re the world’s greatest lover?" A question Buffet often asks to make his point:

Leads to Unhappiness

When you compare yourselves with others, you tend to focus all your energy on bringing them down instead of raising your benchmark.
The only way to win this maze of comparison with others is:  Being yourself. When you start your day with a positive mindset, your world starts to look better again. It helps in focusing your energy on what you are capable of doing now and how you can subsequently improve yourself.

Lets Break the Habit of Comparison

To become a better version of yourself you need to be free from the shackles of comparison.
When you channelize your focus, and energy internally, you start feeling as well as being better at what really matters to you. It may sound simple but its not easy.


Comparison is a natural act and we do it unconsciously. Be conscious of your thoughts and actions when you compare. When you bring your thoughts to the forefront of your conscious mind, you become aware of the consequences it can reap.

Change Focus

Once you realize that your inner mind is comparing, pause immediately. Don't feel bad. Acknowledge your thoughts and gently channelize your thoughts by changing focus.

Count your blessings

When you have an urge to compare, make a list of your blessings.Focus on thinking about what you have. It could be as simple as your health and  people who care about you.

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Its OK to be imperfect

No one is perfect. Neither are you. Acknowledge that imperfection is what makes who you are. However, trying to improve your inner self may help you to change the way you look at things. But this still does not make you a perfect person.

Focus on your Journey

Life is not about comparison and competition. Its a journey to do something, and become something through a long process of learning and creativity. It has nothing to do with what others are doing, but has everything with what you want to and where you want to go.

Focus on your strengths

Acknowledge your strengths and be proud of them and at times celebrate them without bragging. Re-frame your mindset to see what you can do to improve them so you can use them to your best advantage.
When you make a comparison, you need to take the complete picture. What you see is only the results and not the effort behind it.
Change your focus and inner thoughts to see the bigger picture behind capabilities, and success of others.
“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” Lao Tzu